Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Dreadfully Undisciplined


As is obvious to all, I am dreadfully undisciplined... in many areas of my life, but, as you can see, daily blogging is a particular challenge.

It's been an eventful month (plus) since I last shared my thoughts with the "world" (as the word encompasses those who actually read this!). Holiday madness rather took over.

Thanksgiving was a lovely day spent with our dear friends, the Summers family. Judie and I share the cooking. It was a wonderful spread which left everyone happy and sated.

Christmas was on us in the blink of an eye. I did almost all my shopping in my pajamas in the comfort of my own home. I adore internet shopping! Seriously, I do! Who needs the crowds and frustration? I knew what I needed. I clicked a few times, and voila! The packages arrived on our front porch. Brilliant, I tell you! Just brilliant! Especially for a non-shopper like me.

Throughout it all, I've been dealing with some health issues which I was attributing to menopause. A sonogram showed that it might be other concerns, and I had a biopsy done yesterday. I honestly feel optimistic about all this and that the outcome WILL be that it's menopausal and can be rectified with medication rather than surgery, but come what may, I'll be fine. I believe this with unshakeable faith. In the meantime, I persevere, keep my feet up as instructed, and try to maintain low levels of stress. (Great this week, since I'm on break! Next week -- it will be a challenge.)

Other than the joy of holidays with my family, the highlight of the last month was landing the plum role of Fraulein Schneider in the musical Cabaret. It's a wonderful lead role that offers the opportunity for comedy and dramatic acting, some terrific songs, and an ill-fated love story. The fellow who was cast opposite me is someone I adore working with. We have a nice chemistry that has already come across in rehearsals. My fondest hope is that the health issues do not result in my having to give up the show, but I don't think that will happen. I just want to assure everyone that I'm wise enough not to put my health at risk, nor would I want to jeopardize the show by clinging when I should let go. That said... the show WILL go on, and I will be in it!

I will try to be better about blogging more regularly or sharing some writing exercises here. Since I don't have time to create visual art, I am dedicating myself more fully to writing in 2009. Let's see how that goes, shall we? Because we all know that...

I'm dreadfully undisciplined.

Happy New Year!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What a Wednesday!

All right. I know. I haven't blogged for a few days. At least I haven't let it slide for a week or a month or forever, so I won't beat myself up too badly.

It's a cold, crisp Wednesday. Below freezing this morning, though the low humidity meant no frost. I love this weather! But I would have enjoyed doing something more productive (like raking leaves) than taking my son to traffic court for a speeding ticket. That cost a nice chunk of change, and our auto insurance rates will be affected. This kid better find a job soon! (Not that he's not try. Just not many jobs to be had for teens where we live.)

I'm feeling fiscally stressed more than usual today. Can you tell?

After court and errand-running, I came home to work on math homework. I've procrastined for two weeks, and now I've got a homework deadline of tomorrow night. I don't know if I'll make it, especially since Chris gets home from Egypt tomorrow night (yay!), and my head won't be in mathland. The fourteen-year-old in me is still crossing her arms across her breasts, thrusting out a defiant lower lip and wanting to know why the hell I have to take math -- ANY math EVER -- since I will never ever in a million years take a job or pursue a project that requires math of any sort. I can do what I need to do like balance a checkbook, calculate a discount and divide a recipe. Why the hell does math have to be part of every single freakin' college degree?

End of rant.

(Especially since I know that particular rant isn't going to get me anywhere.)

I think I need chocolate.

Well. WANT chocolate.

I have a new book staring at me from the printer stand where I set it. It's called The Writer's Idea Book. It's supposed to stimulate writing. (Um. Sorry... that was probably obvious.) I think I may begin using this blog for writing exercises, which might provide the blog reader with more entertainment than my rants and babbling about my rather tepid (though not unsatisfying) life.

I have one blog follower (and only one at the moment... ::: waving to my friend and loyal blog follower::: ) who suggested that since she has become a follower, I must start divulging secrets in this blog. Hmmmmm...

Well, it's not really a secret since a lot of people know it, and I don't really hide it, but maybe it will be new info to some readers.

So, today's nugget of info: I am a collector of Tarot decks and a reader. Well, I used to be a reader when I had more time and less chaos in my life. I was pretty darn good, too. I was especially drawn to and most successful with doing readings by email, and best of all complete strangers. (I think most readers would agree that the more you know a person, the less objective you can be when doing a reading.) I actually used to auction/sell readings on eBay, and my old, old feedback under my original eBay ID (jeanze) should still show the responses to those readings. (Although eBay might have done away with those old feedbacks when they switched feedback systems. Que sera sera!)

Time to return to math homework. *sigh* Hopefully the next blog post will be less of a rant and something more thought-provoking.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Pockets of Peace and Bliss

Sunday is my favorite day of the week.

Most often, Sunday is my day to sleep in (to the extraordinarily late hour of 8:30 a.m., or even 9:00 a.m.!), to start with a long relaxed cup of coffee over the newspaper or catching up on email or doing some random Googling just for fun.

Chris usually walks with his friends Sunday mornings, then goes out for breakfast, so there's no cooking that needs to be done, and, best of all, no cleaning up.

I guess you could say that Sunday is my day to slack. My day to go inside my own head and let my thoughts wander. To count my blessings or to spend a luxurious hour reading. It's the one day when I can find moments of quiet and relaxation.

I like to spend some time outdoors on Sundays. Even cold ones that are spitting teeny snowballs like today. So this morning I grabbed the little rake (a dog brush), and spend time out in the backyard grooming the girls (my dogs). It was deliciously chilly!

And, this will sound weird, but I take pleasure in catching up with laundry on Sundays. There's no time during the week, and my boys are pretty self sufficient, but by Sunday, a mountain of dirty clothes and towels has mysteriously appeared on the cellar floor, and there it would sit and continue to grow if one of my Sunday things wasn't conquering that mountain! (I'm halfway through it as I type.) I just love the smell of fresh laundry!

I've filled the crockpot with homemade sauce for pasta -- a thick meaty sauce that will chase off the chill of the day. My son is out playing Ultimate Frisbee with his friends in the cold. My younger stepson is probably snogging on the couch with his girlfriend (while Finding Nemo is blaring out of the TV... how cute is THAT?). My elder stepson is due home soon from a few days away with friends.

All would be right with my world, except Chris is in Egypt, a world away, and I miss him. I miss him. I crave his presence. I feel a bit sad and lost whenever we are separated by travel, but Egypt is the worst, since she tried to kill him last time he went. He seems to be doing well this time, though. And he'll be home in four days, I hope. (The airline keeps putting the return flights off, which makes me unhappy.)

And now that I have totally impressed myself by blogging two days in a row, I am going to treat myself to an hour with my nose tucked deeply into the pages of a book. (An old Anne Rice I haven't had time to read before now.)

May your Sunday, too, be filled with pockets of peace and bliss!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

How Honest Can You Be?

Having been a failed diarist my entire life, I am not completely confident that I can keep my initial commitment to blog daily.

And that may not be the most optimistic opening post in my blog, but at least it's honest.

I've pondered the question of honesty in blogging. How honest can you be? In a public venue, where anyone can find and read your words, do you dare to speak your mind? Your heart? Reveal the dark corners of mind and soul, no matter what dwells there?

Is a blog a diary? I don't think it is. Diaries are meant for one's own eyes only, at least in the short term, and most probably for the long term. So I suppose the purpose of blogging is to share the less controversial aspects of day-to-day life as a way to keep in touch with friends and family and any strangers who may stumble upon and actually care about anything one has had to say.

I started this blog because so many of my other friends are blogging, many here on Blogger or Blogspot or by whatever name it is currently called. I do enjoy visiting the blogs of people I know. I haven't yet surfed around to read blogs of people I don't know, although I suspect that that could be very interesting.

I guess my personal challenge is whether or not I can truly be open and honest, as a writer, as a woman, here in a blog. Probably not. I would have to create a blog under a pseudonym to really bare all. Hmmm... now there's a thought. If anyone reading this thinks that could make for interesting reading, let me know, and I just might share a link with you. IF I do create a blog under a nom de plume.

This is my first step on the blogging journey here at Blogspot. For previous, sporadic blog posts, you can visit me at www.myspace.com\jeanze, but from now on I will focus my blogging attempts here.

Welcome to my blog! The Journey begins!